` There are some things, some feelings, some places and even people that we have to let go of at some point in time in order to banish resentment & to allow personal growth." NosaJ
While envy is low or a light weight on the negativity scale, resentment weighs much more on the same scale and exists much higher on the negativity hierarchy. Envy is a fleeting or a more temporary negative emotion, while resentment lingers for a longer period of time and does more damage to the self and to others. It darkens the mind and the heart with negative thoughts that can also lead to negative behavior or deeds.
Resentment can arise and reside with any of us for different reasons, for self, for others for a place or about something that happened. Once it arises, it can lead to or grow into a more powerful negative force in the form of anger or transform itself into hate. Resentment thus climbs up higher on the negativity hierarchy.
It takes away something from you. It takes away some of your goodness and subtracts from your positivity. It can affect who you are, whether you are a positive person or a negative person. If you are positive and allow resentment to reside within you, it occupies some of your positive space and casts a shadow upon some of your light. For the already negative person, it magnifies negativity and gives its associates more power and authority.
In order for any human relationship to truly thrive there can be no resentment to the relationship.
Some relationships can survive resentment compliments of hypocrisy and or necessity, but the most productive, most creative and best relationships are usually free of resentment. There are some of our relationships to which there must be no resentment, for it affects spiritual and personal growth, evolution, harmony, peace, joy, faith in each other, hope and love.
Resentment creates the cracks that leads to break ups. On a professional level think of the employee who resents their boss or vice versa. The employee might leave at great loss to self or even the company
or the boss out of resentment facilitates the exit of the employee at great cost of conscience and to the company. Think of how many personal relationships have also broken up because of resentment. We cite irreconcilable differences but sometimes underlying these differences is resentment.
To your marriage or relationship with a loved one, there should be no resentment or the relationship is already on the rocks. To friendship there must be no resentment or it is a hypocritical relationship. We are all human and we tend to make some mistakes along the way or do some wrong through the eyes of others or according to cultural and society standards. It might be called wrong or it might be a betrayal of a particular trust but does it warrant resentment? Does it require the sacrifice of the positive self or the whole that which is good?
If you look around you at friends, at neighbors, at work colleagues and even into your own family history, you will always find one relationship that tends to outlast and outshine all other relationships. It is called parenthood. This beautiful relationship between parent and child or children, does not necessarily stand the test of time out of obligation but out of love and the lack of resentment. It also stands the test of time because in spite of the many mistakes that a child makes, the parent tends to forgive them and love them anyway.
The parent/child relationship changes its expression and format over a period of time but it does not go south, sour, negative or bloody unless resentment and anger replace love or there was no love to begin with. If you can take the parenthood approach and apply it to other relationships, resentment will find it difficult to touch you
The remedy to resentment is called forgiveness. It is human to err and it is divine to forgive.If you resent yourself for something that you have done or failed to do, then you have to forgive yourself or else it is going to be a long battle for you and resentment. If you resent anyone for something that they did to you or did not do for you, it is time to forgive them also or else the resentment that you have for them will apply itself to you, to what you do, how you do it and to other things. Time does not heal all wounds. The mind does and you do.
Wake up and ditch resentment and say hello to a better you and better relationships.